As a human, we are fragile. I am fragile. Unfortunately, those of us that have experienced more bad things than others, tend to be the more fragile party. Our experiences have made us stronger overall, but we all have our triggers...those triggers, no matter how hard we try, don't seem to go away completely.
Our triggers are all custom, you know..since none of us are exactly the same. While my triggers may relate to infidelity or not being enough (in relation to literally anything...suddenly being a perfectionist makes sense). Your triggers could lie with a place or action - something that even slightly reminds you of those bad things that have stuck with you all this time.
Understanding your triggers is incredibly important. Before I figured out why I was having panic attacks and exactly what it related back to, I felt crazy...insane...lock me up because I'm unstable! But now, I have a panic attack and can identify what caused it - after I've come down from it, of course. I didn't come to understand the deep seeded causes of my anxiety on my own, I actually have my husband to thank for that one. After an adolescence of eating disorders and a slowly developing doubt of myself, a lifetime of anxiety and questioning EVERYTHING has followed. And as much as it really sucks on days like today, when I'm shook and feel a panic attack developing, it has given me an incredible amount of insight and a drive to help others develop that understanding.
How to identify your triggers:
Consider these four causes... these are the most common causes for anxiety and how it takes over your mind, eventually leading to your panic attacks.
Self-doubt - questioning ourselves, thinking we might not be enough...and eventually believing it.
Fear - fear of losing what is near and dear to you. Have you lost someone or something in the past that left you with such sorrow that you never want to feel that again?
Worry - similar to fear but in this case you are continually thinking about the what-ifs, worst-case scenarios...trapping us in this cycle of continually questioning the best things in our lives. Eventually causing us to manifest that worst-case scenario. Has something gone wrong in your past where you felt like you were blindsided? Do you find yourself in a great situation and continually question when it is going to go wrong - preparing yourself for the worst?
Need for control - trying to control our brain and situations in order to avoid self - doubt and our fears. Rather than not thinking about it, you make them the focus of your attention. Trying to keep your anxiety in check by only thinking about your anxiety...it contradicts itself and throws you into the panic attack you have been trying so hard to avoid.
Once you figure out which of these four mindsets you maintain, think about your past...consider the bad things that have stuck with you. - I know this sounds like something you don't want to do...relive your worst moments, but it is important. Consider what has transpired pre-panic attack and figure out how it might remind you of your past...how the present and past might link. Unfortunately, even the smallest similarity can be the cause of all of your anxiety.
As soon as you figure out what your triggers are and how you handle your anxiety, you can begin to develop a regimen that keeps your anxiety at bay and makes your panic attacks more bearable. No matter how bad the past, the future can be far better...the key is to understand how your past has affected you. Your anxiety doesn't have to rule you.
Remember you are beautiful, important, intelligent, and worth so much more than you give yourself credit for.
Kaitlyn B
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