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Real Love...Not the Fake-y Crap

Tuesday, January 23, 2018




This might just be the article you need to read to find the love of your life: 

I have noticed, by being that observant person that constantly convinces people to talk about their feelings, that there is one general problem we all have when trying to find The One. Believe me, I am just as guilty as the next person for having this train of thought...but as soon as it is changed, it seems that we all seem to stumble into our One.


My AMAZING friend, Courtney, was my motivation for this post...primarily because she took my advice and may have already found the love of her life. - Side note: I am thinking about taking on the name Love Guru...ok maybe not... - I have come to notice that everyone has a check list for their future significant other (do NOT try to tell me that you don't...because you will be guilty of lying to yourself). We all have a series of boxes that we want to be able to check before diving down the rabbit hole of romance with the random person we decided to give a chance. My list? Well, if you ask my snobby sixteen year old self, it looked something like this: 

  • Blonde Haired
  • Bad boy
  • Athletic
  • Funny
  • Charming smile
  • A certain skater chic style
  • Tall...very tall 
  • Musclesssss
  • Nice
Blah, blah, blah...feel free to insert any other vain requirements one might think of, and I probably had it on my list. NOT COOL sixteen year old Kaitlyn. Why do I know what was on my list? Well, because my freshman English teacher had us write a list of our requirements for the "perfect" guy/girl. We then had to flip the page over and make our parents fill out their requirements for the "perfect" guy/girl for their child....needless to say, my Dad wrote the following: 

  • Treats her like a princess
  • Makes her happy
  • Can make her laugh
...I know, his answers were far better than mine. Yet, it somehow took me another four years to get the hint that my list was ridiculous.  

Thankfully I, metaphorically, pulled my head out of my a$$. And realized my boxes were ridiculous...as soon as I did, I found the love of my life, and I couldn't be any happier (at least that is what I say, and then I wake up the next day happier than before). He checks all of the boxes I never knew I had.


We all believe that we have a type, because we expect that someone within our very small "type" bubble will be just right. He/she will check all of the boxes and will ride off into the sunset with us...living a perfect unhindered life. Not so much. It seems that until we decide to give someone, that might not check all of our bubbles, a chance, we continue to crash and burn. 

YOUR PERFECT PERSON WILL NOT CHECK ALL OF YOUR RIDICULOUS BOXES! 

And that will make them even more perfect than you could have ever expected. They will steal all of your preconceived notions about the "perfect person" and stomp on them as if they were a fat hairy spider on your bathroom floor. 

In all seriousness though, get over that image of the perfect significant other, that you have in your head. Give a guy, that you might not find yourself immediately wanting to jump his bones, a chance. That perfect person doesn't need to be the person you are typically sexually attracted to. He/she does not need to have the physical build that you would typically prefer, or the style that you would rather see. BUT he/she might have the exact personality that you've been longing for. His/her soul is what yours needs to (forgive the mushiness) complete you. 

The next time someone asks you out, don't shoot them down just because they don't check all of your ridiculous boxes...that is, as long as they aren't giving off a completely creepy and negative vibe. If that is the case, just say no. 

We all long to find someone who is our perfect match...and most times, that person is our perfect match in all of the opposite ways we thought we needed. Once you take my advice, you might find yourself, five years from now, looking back on your ridiculous boxes and thanking the good Lord that you stopped clinging to that list - I know I certainly did. We are all perfectly imperfect...stop waiting for that perfect and flawless guy/girl to walk into your life. 

Most of all, love yourself enough to know that whomever it is that is your perfect match will do nothing but compliment the awesome, amazing, and beautiful person that you are. 

 Love Always, 
                        Kaitlyn B


Photo by Rita Morais on Unsplash - before Chaos and Concealer edits.

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