How to: Quit Being Your Own Worst Enemy

How To Quit Being Your Own Worst Enemy

Danny Devito in a Speedo. Picture it. Are you picturing it? The other day, I was talking to my husband about just feeling like I didn't look the greatest. I have my days where I feel like a million bucks, and days where I just feel...off. His response to me...
"I don't know why you picture yourself as Danny Devito in a Speedo." I looked at him and started laughing, "Danny Devito?!" I responded. His reasoning for this comparison was due to a meme he came across on one of his many social media platforms. I cannot, for the life of me, seem to find the meme. But he said it said "When women look in the mirror, its like they see Danny Devito in a Speedo". He went on to tell me that I don't give myself enough credit and he sees me as amazing even when I see myself as Danny Devito in a Speedo.

This got me thinking. We, as women, are so critical of ourselves while we admire other women's beauty. We are terrible to ourselves! I have mentioned that when I have bouts of heightened anxiety, I question everything about myself and just tear my body apart, criticizing every individual part. Though there are deeper reasons from my past that caused me to feel this way, there are so many other ways to stomp those negative thoughts and feelings! The first step?
                   For every negative thought you have about yourself, 
                  instantly respond with some sort of positive affirmation. 
Our minds are powerful tools, we just need to begin training them to work for us, rather than against us. For example: you think, "I was so lazy today, I didn't do enough, I wasn't active enough". Respond by telling yourself "I choose not to be as productive as physically possible because my body needed rest. I took care of myself today, and that is most important". If you begin to practice telling yourself something good in response to a bad thought, it will eventually become a habit and break your mind of the want and need to criticize every little thing about yourself. Maybe it isn't quite so easy to instantly respond to yourself and your negative thoughts. Trust me, I get that. Instead start writing down your negative thoughts exactly as they formed in your mind. After you write that down, write down a response that you would give anyone else that said that. You would most likely want to encourage them and lift their spirits right? After you write down the response, read it. Keep doing this until your negative habits transform into positive ones.

The next step: Seriously, stop comparing yourself to others! This step shouldn't need any further explanation. You are you, and that is beautiful! Though Marilyn Monroe might not always be the best role model, one of my all-time favorite quotes comes from her - "Imperfection is beauty, maddness is genius, and it is better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring". Let that sink in for a moment. No one is perfect in this world, your imperfections are what make you, you. Embrace your differences, look at a beautiful person and admire their beauty, but for goodness sake, DO NOT compare their beauty to yours!

Understand: Your flaws are perfectly imperfect! We all have flaws, and as soon as we learn to embrace them for what they are, the sooner we figure out they are what sets us apart from others. Your flaws make you unique and as soon as you accept your flaws, you will begin to learn from them.

A common turn of phrase is "you are your own worst enemy". Why can't we be our own biggest fans? I'm not saying that we all need to become vain individuals,. It is entirely possible to love yourself while staying humble. The positivity that will radiate from inside of you will not only change you for the better, but will also be felt by all those around you.

 Love Always, 

                Kaitlyn B